Hi guys! Before I get to the main point of this post, I just want to let you know that I do remember my promise on my acne journey post. I am not done with the treatment yet and I don’t want to jump to any conclusion about whether this stuff or that stuff work for me, so I’d prefer to wait till the end of the treatment before I start writing the post.
Meanwhile, I would like to open a corner called “20-something talk”, where I rant about certain things I experienced in my twenties. Everybody’s experiences are different and I personally have always found it interesting to learn about other people’s experiences and thoughts, but I have also learned that not everybody is willing to do so. Not everybody wants to listen to my stories, and sometimes my thoughts are so messy it takes a lot of patience for someone to be able to sit through them, and I have not found many people that are willing to do so for me.
So I want to open this corner, first and foremost for myself. I don’t like keeping all of my thoughts to myself, it’s tiring and not mentally healthy. This blog is a second home to me, where I can write about anything and everything, so I just figure “Why not?”. Secondly, if anyone here is going through what I am going through or just simply have thoughts you want to see, I hope you can feel free to rant about them in the comment.
This post is, as the title, me ranting about some memories that are so happy but hurt me sometimes. Memories that I treasure, that I never want to erase, but sometimes wake me up at night with tears rolling down my face.
It’s so weird how our brain links smell and sounds, figures and moments to certain emotions, certain feelings. Like every time I watch “Friends” the Christmas episode, I would be able to feel the freezing feelings of snow falling all over me as I walked down the familiar street leading to my small apartment in Fort Collins, Colorado. I could almost feel the warm heat as I opened the door to my room, where the heater had been turned on and welcomed me. I could feel the softness of the blanket, I could hear my roommates talking and I could smell them making dinner. All of those, because the first time I binge-watched Friends was during winter months while I studied abroad in Fort Collins, Colorado.
The same thing would happen to me if someone posted a random photo of Colorado State University, if someone mentions Fort Collins, or if I meet someone from my college days. The memories would always flow back in full force – with smells, colors, sounds and emotions, all blended into ones. I remember how I once saw a photo of New York, and it instantly brought me back to Thanksgiving of 2014, when I stood in the middle of crowded Times Square, in front of Sephora, with the strong wind and rain blowing in my face, but feeling so happy, wishing time could stop at this moment because it was too magical. And it brought tears to my eyes knowing that I would never be able to go back to that moment, to be the exact person I was at that time, full of hopes and happiness and dreams.
I treasure these memories so much, yet I am sometimes afraid of going back to them, afraid when they appear in my dream. Because to me, it’s kinda painful when memories turn into dreams, when things I have experienced turns into things I wish I could do again, when people I have met turn into people I wish I could meet again. But all in all, even though these memories might hurt, I absolutely 100% positive, have no regret that they have happened in my life.
Do you have those memories that you love so much, but every time you think of them you feel a little bit hurt, because they are too beautiful?
Around the globe 